Disintegrate I, II, and III
acrylic, toner and composite gold leaf on canvas board
8 x 10 inches each
Dissolve I, II, and III, 2020
acrylic, color toner and composite gold leaf on canvas board
5 x 7 inches each
In mid-february, I began taking testosterone to treat diagnosed gender dysphoria. Shortly after beginning hormone replacement therapy, the COVID-19 pandemic forced me and much of my community to distance ourselves from each other, and my support network changed dramatically. It was much harder to have the kind of in-person connection with other transgender people I had expected to rely on as I began to see changes both internally and externally. Dissolve and Disintegrate is a response to these changes, which I have had to process mostly independently. Taking photos of my body and layering them as I see changes allows me to process the little things (peach fuzz, subtle body fat redistribution, greasier skin) and the big things (an inability to cry, passing versus not passing, male privilege). The photo transfer process used to put these photographs onto canvas is imperfect, and inevitably leaves gaps and holes in the image. To me, this reflects the imperfect nature of being. In these gaps, I apply gold leaf: even in the imperfections of self, in the hard places, there is beauty and value.
Disintegrate 1, 2020, acrylic, toner and composite gold leaf on canvas board, 10 x 8 inches
Disintegrate 1, 2020, acrylic, toner and composite gold leaf on canvas board, 10 x 8 inches
Disintegrate 2, 2020, acrylic, toner and composite gold leaf on canvas board, 10 x 8 inches
Disintegrate 2, 2020, acrylic, toner and composite gold leaf on canvas board, 10 x 8 inches
Disintegrate 3, 2020, acrylic, toner and composite gold leaf on canvas board, 10 x 8 inches
Disintegrate 3, 2020, acrylic, toner and composite gold leaf on canvas board, 10 x 8 inches
Disintegrate 5, 2020, acrylic, toner and composite gold leaf on canvas board, 10 x 8 inches
Disintegrate 5, 2020, acrylic, toner and composite gold leaf on canvas board, 10 x 8 inches
Disintegrate 4, 2020, acrylic, toner and composite gold leaf on canvas board, 10 x 8 inches
Disintegrate 4, 2020, acrylic, toner and composite gold leaf on canvas board, 10 x 8 inches
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